Regrets?

I miss the old me. The fun me. The me before all this. But, as much as I would love to go back to those days, I would never give up my daughter. I love her more than anything else. Every time I start thinking about how much I miss the old me, I remind myself of that. The old me didn't have Lily.

Wondering

I'm so depressed. I realized yesterday that most everyone that was in my life when I was happy is still happy now. Sure, they've had their hard times too, but somehow they've made it through. Denise is no longer in an "abusive" relationship. Even if she doesn't have her kids with her right now she's still happy to be away from Mike. Jen seems to be happy from what Miranda says. She's married with a kid, what she always wanted. Even Josh seems happy. Not what I expected for him, but if he's happy, I'm happy for him.

I just can't help but wonder if I've made the right choices in my life. I mean, even if I didn't, I can't go back and change my decisions, but I still wonder. However, if they weren't the right choices, I wouldn't be where I am today. The good and the bad. Without the bad, I wouldn't have the good, and without the good, I most certainly wouldn't be sticking around for the bad. Thinking about this could drive a person crazy.

Lily, Stormy and I

Where Did All the Good Music Go?

I was driving in the car today and a thought occurred to me while I was listening to the radio. When did my taste in music change? When did Rock 103.5 turn into G105.1? Has anyone ever noticed this? I mean not in me, but in yourself? I remember when all I pretty much listened to was Korn and Slipknot, lol. Now all I hear is Adele and Katy Perry. Maybe it's when I did a complete 180 with my life? Maybe it's when music in the rock area started going down hill. All I know is that Korn and Slipknot are NOT what they used to be. Music in general isn't what it used to be. And I hate saying that because I'm not even 25 and it makes me sound old, but it's the truth!I mean don't get me wrong there's some pretty good artists out there now, but they are nothing compared to what music used to be like when I was younger. From the 90s to early 2000s. That was when music was the best. I can't imagine how it's going to be when Lily's older and I'm telling her about Spice Girls! Lmao, they'll be old women then with grand kids. I actually saw Jonathan Davis on an episode of Oddities (very interesting show btw, check it out), he's looking really old. Where did all the GOOD music go?! And where the fuck is my iPod?!?!